How to cope when others resist you changing
Most people resist change. Even if they’re unhappy, they avoid taking action to make life better. But what if you want to change, while others round you don’t? They may even oppose you moving towards...
assertiveness
Trying too hard to impress others makes you insecure
Everyone wants to feel accepted by the people closest to them. Nothing hurts more than thinking family and friends don’t like who you are, or what you do. But fear of rejection can make you...
How to manage difficult family visits better
Every family has conflict at some stage. It’s inevitable when people with strong views get together. But some family members may be so easily offended, that every visit ends with hurt feelings. How can you...
Tips for better family visits
Family visits can be a hassle when you’re really busy. Add the tension caused by difficult personalities, and it can be a recipe for disaster. Strategic planning, assertiveness and a healthy dose of mindfulness can...
You’re an adult. Break free of unspoken family rules
We’ve discussed before the power of unspoken rules in families. Most of the time these rules are relatively harmless. But sometimes they stop you saying or doing what is best for you. You’re reluctant to...
Break free of your childhood conditioning
You may think you’ve escaped the unspoken rules that operated in your family when you were a child. But that’s often not the case. Imagine you come home after many years’ absence overseas. Suddenly you’re...
Does buying so many clothes make you feel better?
Do you know why you buy new clothes so often? Does buying so many clothes make you feel better? Is part of the fun searching for that perfect dress or pair of jeans? But how...
Mindfulness when difficult people push your buttons
The greatest sources of comfort for many people are close family or friends. But these same people can also cause great pain and sorrow. Use mindfulness when others push your buttons and stir up emotional...
Values: being the best role model isn’t easy
Our value systems start developing in early childhood, and a good role model can have an enormous influence on your values. Learn how to be the best role model you can. In the process, influence...
Eliminate trivia. Carve out time for important stuff
Are you driven to do pointless tasks? Is it hard to stop doing them even though they’re useless? Eliminate trivia and stop being a slave to habit. Carve out more time in the day to...
How to act with sincerity: match values and behaviour
Mission statements touted by big organisations often don’t bear much resemblance to reality. They may describe lofty values like caring for employees or customers. But in fact, staff can endure bullying, poor conditions and low...
10 reasons why people act out of character
Other people are baffling a lot of the time. Of course, some people are always erratic. You never know what they’re going to do. But even steady people act out of character at times. What...
Being upfront with friends: values and friendships
Most people have strong values about friendships. But they don’t always follow those standards. Are you upfront with friends when there are problems? Or are you passive and pretend everything’s fine? Friendships can be great...
Develop resilience: overcome your fears to make a new start
Watching kittens navigate their world is fascinating. You can learn a lot from the way cats face their fears and develop resilience. Their brain is a less complex version of ours. Read how rescue kitten...
Self-confidence: it’s not big-headed to own your positive qualities
Can you take pleasure in what you’ve achieved? Do you have the self-confidence to own your positive qualities? Sadly, many people don’t. They hide or downplay even minor successes or skills. Fear of appearing big-headed...
Trigger change with helpful action statements, not self-criticism
Many of you probably groan when you think of changes you want to make. It’s easy to be self-critical about everything you “should” do. But it’s far better to use helpful action statements instead of...
