Why naïve optimists don’t cope when life gets messy
If you’re a naïve optimist, life sometimes takes you by surprise – and not in a good way. For instance, you can be shocked by the unthinking or even callous way that some people behave....
avoidance
How can naïve optimists learn to be more realistic?
Expecting everything to always work out for the best may seem a pleasant way to live. Naïve optimists trust that all will be well without their input, regardless of the circumstances. But if your beliefs...
Close enough: successive approximations are better than perfection
“If you can’t do it properly, don’t do it at all.” Did people say this to you all the time when you were young? Does it still echo round your head? This common saying is...
Can you see the future? Only with magical thinking
Can you predict the future? Or is this magical thinking? Anyway, how would that actually work? As humans, we make lots of mistakes in the way we think. Often these are short-cuts taken by the...
Avoidance shrinks your world and erodes skills
People who are anxious often start to withdraw from anything that causes them worry. It might only be in minor ways to start with. But over time, avoidance erodes your skills until life is narrow...
Avoidance keeps worry going and stops you living
Worry happens in your brain. It makes you imagine terrible things that could happen. Because worry is so tiring, you can be tricked into thinking you’re doing something to stop these imagined disasters. But you’re...
Do you think worrying is useful? Think again
Do you think worrying is useful? Is the stress is causes really worth it? Many people think so, but they often don’t realise there are better ways to deal with issues. Learn from the experience...
Worry is self-defeating and ruins happiness
All her life, Sarah confused worry with problem-solving. Now, we’ll find out how self-defeating her beliefs about worry were. So if you believe there are benefits to worry, think again. We first met Sarah when...
Why do I need to change? When you’re stuck
Why are some people aware they need to change, and yet others have no idea? If you don’t think you have a problem, you won’t give a moment’s thought to doing anything differently. You’ll say...
Want to stop ignoring problems? Take action now
Have you always dismissed people who said you had a problem? Are you now starting to suspect they may be right? Do you want to stop ignoring problems from now on? Congratulations! You’ve moved up...
Snap out of autopilot: live with intention
Do you go through most of your day on automatic? On the one hand, this can save mental energy when you’re busy. You don’t spend too much time thinking about what you’re doing. But to...
Is worry ruining your life?
Are you a worrier? Do others say that you worry too much? Maybe you think they’re wrong: that they’re oblivious to looming problems. Whatever you believe, worry can affect your happiness. Ask yourself honestly: is...
Did you know your beliefs keep emotional pain alive?
Do you agonise over past events? Are you furious at how someone treated you? Chances are your unhelpful beliefs keep emotional pain alive. Learn to let go of past hurts and injustices. Make your emotional...
See how problem-solving stops worry
Not many of us are taught formal problem-solving. That means people delay dealing with issues in their lives. Learn problem-solving skills to get your life in order. Problem-solving stops worry and spurs you to take...
How can SMART goalsetting kick-start your new life?
Achieving great things seems possible when you’re young. But over time, you find yourself drifting aimlessly, without clear goals. As the years pass, you ask yourself: Is this all there is? To get over these...
10 ways you sabotage yourself when setting goals
Is fear hold you back from changing your life? Do you sabotage yourself when setting goals? Learn to deal with common blocks that may stop you setting or following through on your goals. The process...
