How to cope when others resist you changing
Most people resist change. Even if they’re unhappy, they avoid taking action to make life better. But what if you want to change, while others round you don’t? They may even oppose you moving towards...
challenge thoughts
How can naïve optimists learn to be more realistic?
Expecting everything to always work out for the best may seem a pleasant way to live. Naïve optimists trust that all will be well without their input, regardless of the circumstances. But if your beliefs...
Buying your way to happiness? Consumerism is ruining the environment
Concern about the environment is gathering steam. Politicians tout policies to prove their environmental street-cred. Young activists prod the conscience of older generations. Everyone feels virtuous as they mouth slogans that demand action. But is...
Parents who desperately want help to change
Parents sometimes act towards their children in ways they later regret. They may be too busy, too angry, or just too exhausted to take much notice of their kids. Or somehow the roles get reversed...
Learn better parenting skills and enjoy your child again
Even normally unflappable people can be reduced to putty by the stresses of parenting. Seeking help to learn better parenting skills is vital to prevent burnout. Otherwise, your relationship with your child can slip into...
Use mindfulness to achieve your goals more quickly
Previously we’ve discussed how mindfulness can help you achieve your goals. Let’s see this in action by focussing on Bill, who’s been struggling with his study assignments. How can he use mindfulness to achieve his...
What you believe is true isn’t always right
Adults tend to leap to conclusions without enough evidence to back them up. If they’re not careful, these assumptions can lead to bad decisions. Are you aware that what you believe is true isn’t always...
How to make positive affirmations work better for you
You’ve all heard the folk wisdom: positive affirmations change how you see yourself. But how can you make positive affirmations work if you have low self-esteem? According to the theory, you repeatedly tell yourself you...
Simple way to make positive affirmations effective
Jessie wants to feel more competent at work. But positive affirmations have made her feel worse. Unfortunately, she’s not using them the right way. Read on to learn the simple trick to make positive affirmations...
Can you see the future? Only with magical thinking
Can you predict the future? Or is this magical thinking? Anyway, how would that actually work? As humans, we make lots of mistakes in the way we think. Often these are short-cuts taken by the...
Blaming yourself? Maybe you don’t know the real story
Young children only see a limited slice of life. So they can misread situations that happen around them. Then they may jump to the wrong conclusions about why things happen. In fact, they may end...
Are you responsible for the way others act?
Now, everyone likes to be on good terms with people around them. But sometimes even close friends or family don’t act appropriately. So how much responsibility should you take for changing their behaviour? Are you...
Break free of unspoken rules from the past
Most families have unspoken rules everyone obeys. Usually these help the smooth running of the family. But sometimes these rules are pointless, harsh or even harmful. And yet later in life, we can still feel...
You’re an adult. Break free of unspoken family rules
We’ve discussed before the power of unspoken rules in families. Most of the time these rules are relatively harmless. But sometimes they stop you saying or doing what is best for you. You’re reluctant to...
Break free of your childhood conditioning
You may think you’ve escaped the unspoken rules that operated in your family when you were a child. But that’s often not the case. Imagine you come home after many years’ absence overseas. Suddenly you’re...
Worry seems rewarding but it’s magical thinking
Nobody likes how worry makes you feel – panicky, tense and out of control. So why do we keep worrying? Part of the answer is, that in a peculiar way, worry seems rewarding. Weird, right?...
