How to cope when others resist you changing
Most people resist change. Even if they’re unhappy, they avoid taking action to make life better. But what if you want to change, while others round you don’t? They may even oppose you moving towards...
negative emotions
Why naïve optimists don’t cope when life gets messy
If you’re a naïve optimist, life sometimes takes you by surprise – and not in a good way. For instance, you can be shocked by the unthinking or even callous way that some people behave....
How can naïve optimists learn to be more realistic?
Expecting everything to always work out for the best may seem a pleasant way to live. Naïve optimists trust that all will be well without their input, regardless of the circumstances. But if your beliefs...
Stop resisting change and treat others with more respect
The rate of change in society has gathered pace over recent years. Women and indigenous peoples continue to fight for their rights. Minority groups are now demanding they be treated with the respect they deserve....
Parents who desperately want help to change
Parents sometimes act towards their children in ways they later regret. They may be too busy, too angry, or just too exhausted to take much notice of their kids. Or somehow the roles get reversed...
How to make positive affirmations work better for you
You’ve all heard the folk wisdom: positive affirmations change how you see yourself. But how can you make positive affirmations work if you have low self-esteem? According to the theory, you repeatedly tell yourself you...
Blaming yourself? Maybe you don’t know the real story
Young children only see a limited slice of life. So they can misread situations that happen around them. Then they may jump to the wrong conclusions about why things happen. In fact, they may end...
Avoidance shrinks your world and erodes skills
People who are anxious often start to withdraw from anything that causes them worry. It might only be in minor ways to start with. But over time, avoidance erodes your skills until life is narrow...
Avoidance keeps worry going and stops you living
Worry happens in your brain. It makes you imagine terrible things that could happen. Because worry is so tiring, you can be tricked into thinking you’re doing something to stop these imagined disasters. But you’re...
Do you think worrying is useful? Think again
Do you think worrying is useful? Is the stress is causes really worth it? Many people think so, but they often don’t realise there are better ways to deal with issues. Learn from the experience...
Worry is self-defeating and ruins happiness
All her life, Sarah confused worry with problem-solving. Now, we’ll find out how self-defeating her beliefs about worry were. So if you believe there are benefits to worry, think again. We first met Sarah when...
Is blaming yourself for everything making life hard?
If you’re always blaming yourself for everything, take note. It’s not always your fault! You don’t possess super powers. You can’t predict everything bad or that will ever go wrong. So why are you taking...
Want to get rid of dread? Banish worry
Worriers are often filled with dread all day. Sometimes it’s just an uneasy sense that something bad is going to happen. But often they can’t put their finger on exactly what’s worrying them. Others churn...
Be flexible 2: embrace new paths to reach goals
Life doesn’t always hand you what you want. Sometimes we have to change our plans in ways we don’t like. If you can be flexible and embrace new paths to reach goals, you’ll be ahead...
Does buying so many clothes make you feel better?
Do you know why you buy new clothes so often? Does buying so many clothes make you feel better? Is part of the fun searching for that perfect dress or pair of jeans? But how...
Holding grudges from the past stops you living now
How many of you are holding grudges from the past that stop you living now? Are you replaying distressing conversations word for word? Chances are you’re still hurt or saddened by the impact it’s had...
